Monday and Tuesday nights are usually our busiest nights at the hotel. Last year we were consistently booked solid during the beginning of the week. If you weren't one of our regulars and you got a room, whatever room, you were happy about it.
The after-work rush had quieted down and I checked this guy in, normal routine, and he went up to his room. About five minutes later, he called me.
"Front desk, this is Sarah, how can I help you?"
"Uh, hello?"
Great. I can already tell you're going to be difficult. "Yes, how may I help you?"
"Yeah, uh, is this a smoking room?"
"Yes sir, it is."
"But I wanted a non-smoking room."
Whoops. You didn't mention that in your reservation or when you checked in, but I forgot I'm supposed to be psychic. My bad.
"I do apologize about that sir, there wasn't a note in the reservation and unfortunately that's the only room I have available tonight. Would you like me to bring up some air freshener?"
"Oh no, it doesn't really smell that bad, but do I have to smoke in here?"
And here is where my brain shorted out. See, I have a bad habit of hoping for the best in people, so sometimes I get caught off guard by their stupidity and my brain just kind of shuts down momentarily.
"Uhmm..." *brain reboots* Remember Sarah, little words. "No sir, you are not required to smoke in the smoking room, that's your choice."
"Oh ok, I just wanted to check and make sure."
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Confession
I love wedding shows. And looking at wedding magazines. And looking at people's wedding photos. Every time Erica left the living room this weekend I would sneak the channel over to "Say yes to the dress!" and I love trolling thru photography blogs to look at the wedding pictures.
That being said, I've never sat down and planned out my wedding (whenever the heck that might happen). I have ideas, but not plans, and I don't intend to make any either. I guess I just like watching other people plan for (what should be) one of the happiest moments of their lives.
And damn, some of those dresses are AMAZING!
That being said, I've never sat down and planned out my wedding (whenever the heck that might happen). I have ideas, but not plans, and I don't intend to make any either. I guess I just like watching other people plan for (what should be) one of the happiest moments of their lives.
And damn, some of those dresses are AMAZING!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
A Soft Place to Land
I will never use regular bar soap again.
I'm not a shower-product addict. Yes, I worked at Bath & Body Works for a while but I have to admit that I greatly under-utilized my employee discount (which also applied at Victoria's Secret, damnit). I just never really saw the point in the fancy sponges and flowery smelling gels that seemed to wear off once I toweled off. They were pointless. They were too expensive. They take up too much damn room in my shower -- seriously, do these company think normal people have frickin' bookcases in the showers? Come on.
So I used Lever 2000, Coast, Irish Spring, whatever happens to be lying around when I discover that we're out of soap -- which usually happens when I'm already in the shower and rinsing shampoo out of my hair. It got me clean and that was all I cared about, until I tried Skin So Soft by Avon.
I will never use regular bar soap again. My skin has never been so soft, so utterly touchable and smooth. People have always told me I have really soft skin, but I had no idea that it could get even better. Avon, I am yours.
I have to wonder though, what else have I been missing out on? I'm a cuddly person by nature, always hugging (or tackling, in Amber's case, since I only see her once every few months) my friends and snuggling with furry animals. I'm like one big pillow: everything about me is soft, and small children love to fall asleep on me. I love that...I love being a soft place to land.
I'm not a shower-product addict. Yes, I worked at Bath & Body Works for a while but I have to admit that I greatly under-utilized my employee discount (which also applied at Victoria's Secret, damnit). I just never really saw the point in the fancy sponges and flowery smelling gels that seemed to wear off once I toweled off. They were pointless. They were too expensive. They take up too much damn room in my shower -- seriously, do these company think normal people have frickin' bookcases in the showers? Come on.
So I used Lever 2000, Coast, Irish Spring, whatever happens to be lying around when I discover that we're out of soap -- which usually happens when I'm already in the shower and rinsing shampoo out of my hair. It got me clean and that was all I cared about, until I tried Skin So Soft by Avon.
I will never use regular bar soap again. My skin has never been so soft, so utterly touchable and smooth. People have always told me I have really soft skin, but I had no idea that it could get even better. Avon, I am yours.
I have to wonder though, what else have I been missing out on? I'm a cuddly person by nature, always hugging (or tackling, in Amber's case, since I only see her once every few months) my friends and snuggling with furry animals. I'm like one big pillow: everything about me is soft, and small children love to fall asleep on me. I love that...I love being a soft place to land.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Zombieland
What do you get when you cross ravenous zombies, a Twinkie-lovin butt kickin' fast talkin' redneck, a quiet over-thinking phobic nerd, a token cold-exterior but heart-of-gold hottie, Abigail Breslin, and copious amounts of oozing fake blood?
Zombieland.
This movie is epic. Thursday night my friend Pru and I attended a special screening (my brother won tickets on 29-95.com and gave them to me since he had to work) at the MarqE center. There we were, surrounded by more nerds and geeks than you'd find at a half-price anime sale (I mean that in the best possible way) and we had a blast.
This movie is witty, scary enough to make Pru scream like a school-girl, features an unexpected yet hilarious cameo, and just an all-around good time. But please, don't take your kids unless you want them to be permanently afraid of using public restrooms.
Zombieland.
This movie is epic. Thursday night my friend Pru and I attended a special screening (my brother won tickets on 29-95.com and gave them to me since he had to work) at the MarqE center. There we were, surrounded by more nerds and geeks than you'd find at a half-price anime sale (I mean that in the best possible way) and we had a blast.
This movie is witty, scary enough to make Pru scream like a school-girl, features an unexpected yet hilarious cameo, and just an all-around good time. But please, don't take your kids unless you want them to be permanently afraid of using public restrooms.
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Invention of Lying
Sometimes I really wish people would be more accountable and just call things for what they are. My case in point (at least for today) is Ricky Gervais' new movie, The Invention of Lying. Judging from the previews, it's about some guy who learns how to lie in a world where no one else can or does. Everyone is (hilariously) brutally honest, so on and so forth, and I'm sure hi jinks ensue. At least that's what the marketing campaign wants you to think.
Apparently the movie is actually about religion. The characters in this world have no concept of God or Heaven or any of it until Gervais' character comes along and makes up a story about "the man in the sky". At least, that's what I read in EW (and we all know I love my EW).
Don't get me wrong, I like Ricky Gervais. Jennifer Garner is also in the movie and anyone that's seen me watch 13 Going On 30 every day for a week can atest to the fact that I absolutely love her, too. I have a problem with the fact that Ricky Gervais is claiming this movie is not anti-religious.
Seriously dude? If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a frickin' duck.
Don't try and skirt around the controversy that a movie about a man who makes up God in his world is going to stir up. Call it what it is and get on with it. I'm still going to go see the movie regardless, but now instead of spending $9 on a Friday night, I'll probably go Saturday morning, pay $4 for some cheesy chick flick, and sneak into this one afterwards.
I want my movie trailers to be honest with me. Don't worry, your plotline isn't going to shake my faith or my love for God. I'm a big girl, honest...I can handle it.
Apparently the movie is actually about religion. The characters in this world have no concept of God or Heaven or any of it until Gervais' character comes along and makes up a story about "the man in the sky". At least, that's what I read in EW (and we all know I love my EW).
Don't get me wrong, I like Ricky Gervais. Jennifer Garner is also in the movie and anyone that's seen me watch 13 Going On 30 every day for a week can atest to the fact that I absolutely love her, too. I have a problem with the fact that Ricky Gervais is claiming this movie is not anti-religious.
Seriously dude? If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a frickin' duck.
Don't try and skirt around the controversy that a movie about a man who makes up God in his world is going to stir up. Call it what it is and get on with it. I'm still going to go see the movie regardless, but now instead of spending $9 on a Friday night, I'll probably go Saturday morning, pay $4 for some cheesy chick flick, and sneak into this one afterwards.
I want my movie trailers to be honest with me. Don't worry, your plotline isn't going to shake my faith or my love for God. I'm a big girl, honest...I can handle it.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Love is black and white
I was eight years old the first time I fell in love and for me, love was black and white. It wasn't the tormented affair I saw on my mother's daytime soap operas and it certainly wasn't a tale of unrequited love. I loved him and he loved me, no questions about it. My first love was a furry four month old kitten named Buster.
Ok, maybe that's not quite the whole story. Truth be told, I didn't want him at first. I wanted the six week old orange tabby kitten that could barely walk and stuck me with its claws every time I held it.
It was the day after Christmas and my mom, brother and I were looking at the kitties at the SPCA, and don't even get me started on how sad that damn shelter made me -- I wanted to take them ALL home. I got the impression that Dave and mom were pretty set on getting a black and white cat (whose Christmas present is this, anyway?) just because it seemed to be tradition or something.
Despite that pretty blue-eyed orange kitten mewing at me from behind the glass I ended up with this sweet-yet-shy troublemaker that was terrified of strangers and plastic sacks. For the first two days the term "stranger" applied to our family as well and he spent most of his time hiding underneath something though I can't remember what. He eventually warmed up to us, and me, and he's still under foot today, fifteen years later, still begging for food at all hours of the night and leaving tiny bruises on my legs because he's so freakin' fat but his paws are so freakin' small.
Love came in other shades, too, but so far Buster is the only one that's managed to stick around. We were a one cat household for a long time, but then we got a dog...and then my grandmother gave me a horse (Daddy was none too pleased about that one)...and then I woke up one day and realized we had somehow amassed a gaggle of four cats.
How that happened, I really have no idea. I love animals but my dad...well, not so much, and I swear he almost had a fit anytime he would turn around and see one of the animals sitting on something other than the floor. Sometimes I feel bad for him about that; the bond between human and animal is unlike any other. Buster loves me no matter what, doesn't get mad when I'm snippy after a bad day at work, and only wants love (and kibble).
He's the perfect guy, really, which is why I go to him on my worst days. It sounds cliche` but I can always find comfort in his soft fur. He doesn't judge me even when I feel like I deserve to be judged, and for that kind of unconditional love there are no words. So I'll take the two a.m. "feed me!" wake up calls, the hair balls, the white cat hair on my black work pants, even the stinky litterbox, and be grateful to do so.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Quote of the Day
"I hope you know a good divorce attorney."
-- Dad to me, joking around after I nagged at him about...something
-- Dad to me, joking around after I nagged at him about...something
Friday, August 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
"Not Me!" Monday
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
The other day at work I didn't go to file a registration card in the bucket only to find that it wasn't in the drawer and wonder, "Where the heck is that thing?" when it was sitting on the counter right in front of me. I hadn't been checking all the reg cards just before checking that guest in, either.
Sunday night at Denny's with Vicky (my co-worker) I did not start digging around in the pocket of my jeans for my cell phone to check the time before he pointed out the fact that it was lying on the table right in front of me. I certainly didn't do it twice. And to answer any questions before they come up, yes, Vicky is a boy, and no, that is not his real name.
I didn't send Erica a text message last night asking her to "please send me a duck for my farm on Facebook" because it was bugging the crap out of me that I had three cows, three sheep, three apple trees, three peach trees, three cherry trees, and three rows of each of my crops, but only one duck. I am not the least bit obsessive about numbers, nor am I so dedicated to my virtual farm that I want everything to match. Not me.
And this morning on my way to work I did not purposefully try to embarass my dad by dancing around like a fool in the car to "I'm in H-Town, trick" by LMFAO (it's a remix of "I'm in Miami, trick"). And I certainly didn't end up embarassing myself more than him because a really cute guy in the car next to us did not catch me gettin' jiggy with it and grin at me.
I did not just give myself a massive paper cut =(
Monday, August 3, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Fabulous Weekend Part 2, Saturday
Saturday morning, after a somewhat entertaining night trying to get the girls to go to bed early, Tay was picked up early and we started to get ready to go to the beach while we waited for Jenny to come pick up Elizabeth and Allison. Carina and her friend Emily (who was staying the weekend) were super excited about the beach trip of course, and that was before Jenny and her husband decided to meet us down there with the girls.
The weather was absolutely perfect for a day at the beach on Saturday...there was a nice breeze, strong enough to keep us cool but not strong enough to really kick up the waves too badly. The four girls played in the sand and dug up seashells while the adults either a) chilled on the beach or b) waded out into the water. There was no where we had to be, no pressure from work or family or anything, just the beach.
I remember remarking to Erica, "I am so grateful that God put something this beautiful on earth for us." I will never understand how anyone can not believe in God after seeing something so wonderful as the beach.
Amazingly I managed to avoid a sunburn (again!) and we left around 6 to head back to town. My new friend Z invited me out to Cafe Byobla, a mediterranean restaurant on Richmond, to listen to a live Arabic band, watch a belly dancer, and smoke some hookah. The food there was absolutely amazing, too. I mean, we all know how fabulous hummus is, right? Now, imagine hummus with chopped lamb and pine nuts on top. Yumm!
So that was my "mental health" day.
All four of the girls: Elizabeth, Emily, Allison, and Carina (who wouldn't open her eyes)
Erica and Jenny, take 1
Ah, that's more like it
Carina, sittin' pretty
The weather was absolutely perfect for a day at the beach on Saturday...there was a nice breeze, strong enough to keep us cool but not strong enough to really kick up the waves too badly. The four girls played in the sand and dug up seashells while the adults either a) chilled on the beach or b) waded out into the water. There was no where we had to be, no pressure from work or family or anything, just the beach.
I remember remarking to Erica, "I am so grateful that God put something this beautiful on earth for us." I will never understand how anyone can not believe in God after seeing something so wonderful as the beach.
Amazingly I managed to avoid a sunburn (again!) and we left around 6 to head back to town. My new friend Z invited me out to Cafe Byobla, a mediterranean restaurant on Richmond, to listen to a live Arabic band, watch a belly dancer, and smoke some hookah. The food there was absolutely amazing, too. I mean, we all know how fabulous hummus is, right? Now, imagine hummus with chopped lamb and pine nuts on top. Yumm!
So that was my "mental health" day.
All four of the girls: Elizabeth, Emily, Allison, and Carina (who wouldn't open her eyes)Erica and Jenny, take 1 Ah, that's more like it Carina, sittin' pretty Emily with the boogie board
Monday, July 27, 2009
Fabulous Weekend part 1, Friday
This past weekend was just magical. That is the only word I can think of to properly describe it. After a couple weeks of stress and roller-coaster ride of emotions I really needed this break and I am so thankful that I got it.
Friday was my friend Erica's daughter Carina's eighth birthday party. To celebrate she invited four of her friends over for a dress-up dance party and the girls had an absolute blast putting on all the dresses that Erica had lying around the house, putting on make-up, and presenting a fashion show for us. They were so creative and came up with the fashion show idea all on their own and even included different categories...formal dresses, casual dresses, and a swimsuit competition.
Friday was my friend Erica's daughter Carina's eighth birthday party. To celebrate she invited four of her friends over for a dress-up dance party and the girls had an absolute blast putting on all the dresses that Erica had lying around the house, putting on make-up, and presenting a fashion show for us. They were so creative and came up with the fashion show idea all on their own and even included different categories...formal dresses, casual dresses, and a swimsuit competition.
I have to say that I think Erica, Ashley, and I had just as much fun watching them as they did actually doing it. It was so refreshing to stop worrying about things for a while and just watch the girls play and completely enjoy themselves.
Here are a few of my favorite pictures...
The birthday girl striking a pose
Jennifer's daughter Elizabeth showing off some moves, with Carina and Tay (Ashley's daughter) getting in on the fun
More pictures and parts 2 and 3 of my weekend to come. For now, back to work, before my manager catches me =P
Praying for Baby Stellan
This poor little guy is really doing poorly right now and could use all the prayers he can get. Lord, watch over him.
www.mycharmingkids.net
www.mycharmingkids.net
Thursday, July 16, 2009
My Happy Place
I know I've said it many many times to anyone who cares to listen -- and a few people who don't -- but the beach is my absolute favorite place in the world. I can't even really explain it but no matter what's going on in my life, how bad or down I'm feeling, the beach always gives me a sense of peace.
On Tuesday night I went to dinner with the Weatherford guys: Cris, Ivano, Hector, Tiago, and Marcin. It was kind of a farewell dinner since their training course is wrapping up and they're all about to go back to their respective homes at the end of this week. I think most of them had been drinking for about 4 hours straight by that point which is probably how I managed to get them to agree to pile into the Mazda instead of walking to Hooters.
Yeah, you heard me, all five of them in the Mazda 929. But that's a (hilarious) story I'm going to save for later.
To make a long story short, they invited me out to the beach with them on Wednesday, I called in a few favors to get my shift at work covered, and off I went.
Now, Galveston really isn't the nicest beach, at all. The water is brown, you can't see the bottom, sometimes there are so many jellyfish you're lucky to be able to walk on the sand without stepping on one, but I still love it. I can't even explain it but I just love it. One of the best nights of my life was spent on the beach.
Everything that had gone on over the past week or so was really weighing me down by the time we actually parked at East Beach, and I was close to just wanting to curl up in the back seat of the truck and sleep. I had a breakdown with Erica on the phone that was really kind of embarassing considering I was stuck in the truck with three guys that really don't know me too well, and it was just one of those times where I was just like, "What the hell is the point anymore?"
But the beach...
The moment my feet hit the sand, I was calm. My mind settled, the vice that was gripping my chest loosened, and for the first time in a week and a half I could take a breath. The sun was scorching hot and the sand would singe your feet if you weren't careful, but nothing really bothered me at that point. I could smell and taste the salt on the wind and everything else just faded away.
I still don't know what I'm doing anymore. This past week I've made some mistakes that I wish I could take back but I know I can't; I just know the best I can do is learn from them. I feel adrift, like I've lost my footing on how I'm supposed to deal with things, but I'm trying. I just need to get my head straight and the beach helped a lot in that regard. I'll talk more about that later on...right now I'm still trying to cling to that sense of peacefullness I had on Wednesday before I have to admit I'm back in the real world again.
On Tuesday night I went to dinner with the Weatherford guys: Cris, Ivano, Hector, Tiago, and Marcin. It was kind of a farewell dinner since their training course is wrapping up and they're all about to go back to their respective homes at the end of this week. I think most of them had been drinking for about 4 hours straight by that point which is probably how I managed to get them to agree to pile into the Mazda instead of walking to Hooters.
Yeah, you heard me, all five of them in the Mazda 929. But that's a (hilarious) story I'm going to save for later.
To make a long story short, they invited me out to the beach with them on Wednesday, I called in a few favors to get my shift at work covered, and off I went.
Now, Galveston really isn't the nicest beach, at all. The water is brown, you can't see the bottom, sometimes there are so many jellyfish you're lucky to be able to walk on the sand without stepping on one, but I still love it. I can't even explain it but I just love it. One of the best nights of my life was spent on the beach.
Everything that had gone on over the past week or so was really weighing me down by the time we actually parked at East Beach, and I was close to just wanting to curl up in the back seat of the truck and sleep. I had a breakdown with Erica on the phone that was really kind of embarassing considering I was stuck in the truck with three guys that really don't know me too well, and it was just one of those times where I was just like, "What the hell is the point anymore?"
But the beach...
The moment my feet hit the sand, I was calm. My mind settled, the vice that was gripping my chest loosened, and for the first time in a week and a half I could take a breath. The sun was scorching hot and the sand would singe your feet if you weren't careful, but nothing really bothered me at that point. I could smell and taste the salt on the wind and everything else just faded away.
I still don't know what I'm doing anymore. This past week I've made some mistakes that I wish I could take back but I know I can't; I just know the best I can do is learn from them. I feel adrift, like I've lost my footing on how I'm supposed to deal with things, but I'm trying. I just need to get my head straight and the beach helped a lot in that regard. I'll talk more about that later on...right now I'm still trying to cling to that sense of peacefullness I had on Wednesday before I have to admit I'm back in the real world again.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
A Disclaimer
I probably should've made this post first...hmm, oh well, hindsight is 20/20, as they say. Better late than never, right? Right?!
Anyway, rambling aside, it is my goal to be as honest as possible on this blog, and that being said, I know something I say at some point is bound to rub someone the wrong way. If this is you, I'm sorry. Anyone who knows me knows that I am never intentionally mean or cruel to anyone. Yes, I am a smart-ass, sarcastic as hell, but I never do it with the intention to hurt anyone.
I'm going to be up-front and open on things, including my family, my friends, my ex's, my co-workers, my views on God and politics, the new Angus burgers at McDonald's, everything. I don't mean it to, but considering how everyone has differing views, it's kind of inevitable that someone's going to get offended. Sorry, I'm not doing it on purpose, that's just how I feel.
Most of the people close to me know how I feel about them (or at least they should) so I'm not so worried about that. Even if they don't, they definitely should know that I love each and every one of them more than I can say, and nothing will ever change that.
One last thing for now...I do curse. I'm trying to cut back here but it's going to slip out every now and then. I can't help it; sometimes nothing but an F-bomb will get the point across.
And I think that's it for the disclaimer...I may add more on later if I think it's needed.
Oh, and the new Angus burger at McDonald's? Eh, so-so. The bun is a little more dough-y (is that even a word?) than I like and the meat is so-so. I think I prefer home-made burgers cooked on a grill with good friends and copious amounts of beer (or margaritas!), so sue me.
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba...
Anyway, rambling aside, it is my goal to be as honest as possible on this blog, and that being said, I know something I say at some point is bound to rub someone the wrong way. If this is you, I'm sorry. Anyone who knows me knows that I am never intentionally mean or cruel to anyone. Yes, I am a smart-ass, sarcastic as hell, but I never do it with the intention to hurt anyone.
I'm going to be up-front and open on things, including my family, my friends, my ex's, my co-workers, my views on God and politics, the new Angus burgers at McDonald's, everything. I don't mean it to, but considering how everyone has differing views, it's kind of inevitable that someone's going to get offended. Sorry, I'm not doing it on purpose, that's just how I feel.
Most of the people close to me know how I feel about them (or at least they should) so I'm not so worried about that. Even if they don't, they definitely should know that I love each and every one of them more than I can say, and nothing will ever change that.
One last thing for now...I do curse. I'm trying to cut back here but it's going to slip out every now and then. I can't help it; sometimes nothing but an F-bomb will get the point across.
And I think that's it for the disclaimer...I may add more on later if I think it's needed.
Oh, and the new Angus burger at McDonald's? Eh, so-so. The bun is a little more dough-y (is that even a word?) than I like and the meat is so-so. I think I prefer home-made burgers cooked on a grill with good friends and copious amounts of beer (or margaritas!), so sue me.
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba...
Friday, July 10, 2009
No More Waiting
When I was about to start this blog -- waiting to start this blog, as it were -- I realized that most of my adult life has been spent waiting on other people. Waiting on my father's work to turn around so I could afford to go back to school. Waiting for my father to get another job so I could start my life. Waiting, waiting, waiting...
I am done with waiting. I've had friends try and try repeatedly to drill it into my head that I have no obligations to put my life on hold indefinitely to take care of my family. It wasn't until recently, though, that I could see a way around it. I was always conflicted, wanting to start my life and at the same time unable to imagine simply abandoning the responsibilities I have taken on.
And then I thought...why can't I have both?
Recent events, while immensely painful, have also opened doors in my life. I've thought about it, cried about it, and prayed about it, and I decided I'm going to do it. I'm going to move on, finally, from everything. I'm going to buy a car of my own, go back to school, and try to pick up the pieces to my broken heart along the way. I'm going to support my family but live my own life, too.
So that's the general idea here. I have no idea if I'm going to be able to do it, but luckily I have some amazing people in my life that I know will provide the support -- or the swift kick in the bum -- that I need to find my way.
To find Sarah...
I am done with waiting. I've had friends try and try repeatedly to drill it into my head that I have no obligations to put my life on hold indefinitely to take care of my family. It wasn't until recently, though, that I could see a way around it. I was always conflicted, wanting to start my life and at the same time unable to imagine simply abandoning the responsibilities I have taken on.
And then I thought...why can't I have both?
Recent events, while immensely painful, have also opened doors in my life. I've thought about it, cried about it, and prayed about it, and I decided I'm going to do it. I'm going to move on, finally, from everything. I'm going to buy a car of my own, go back to school, and try to pick up the pieces to my broken heart along the way. I'm going to support my family but live my own life, too.
So that's the general idea here. I have no idea if I'm going to be able to do it, but luckily I have some amazing people in my life that I know will provide the support -- or the swift kick in the bum -- that I need to find my way.
To find Sarah...
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