Thursday, July 16, 2009

My Happy Place

I know I've said it many many times to anyone who cares to listen -- and a few people who don't -- but the beach is my absolute favorite place in the world. I can't even really explain it but no matter what's going on in my life, how bad or down I'm feeling, the beach always gives me a sense of peace.

On Tuesday night I went to dinner with the Weatherford guys: Cris, Ivano, Hector, Tiago, and Marcin. It was kind of a farewell dinner since their training course is wrapping up and they're all about to go back to their respective homes at the end of this week. I think most of them had been drinking for about 4 hours straight by that point which is probably how I managed to get them to agree to pile into the Mazda instead of walking to Hooters.

Yeah, you heard me, all five of them in the Mazda 929. But that's a (hilarious) story I'm going to save for later.

To make a long story short, they invited me out to the beach with them on Wednesday, I called in a few favors to get my shift at work covered, and off I went.

Now, Galveston really isn't the nicest beach, at all. The water is brown, you can't see the bottom, sometimes there are so many jellyfish you're lucky to be able to walk on the sand without stepping on one, but I still love it. I can't even explain it but I just love it. One of the best nights of my life was spent on the beach.

Everything that had gone on over the past week or so was really weighing me down by the time we actually parked at East Beach, and I was close to just wanting to curl up in the back seat of the truck and sleep. I had a breakdown with Erica on the phone that was really kind of embarassing considering I was stuck in the truck with three guys that really don't know me too well, and it was just one of those times where I was just like, "What the hell is the point anymore?"

But the beach...

The moment my feet hit the sand, I was calm. My mind settled, the vice that was gripping my chest loosened, and for the first time in a week and a half I could take a breath. The sun was scorching hot and the sand would singe your feet if you weren't careful, but nothing really bothered me at that point. I could smell and taste the salt on the wind and everything else just faded away.

I still don't know what I'm doing anymore. This past week I've made some mistakes that I wish I could take back but I know I can't; I just know the best I can do is learn from them. I feel adrift, like I've lost my footing on how I'm supposed to deal with things, but I'm trying. I just need to get my head straight and the beach helped a lot in that regard. I'll talk more about that later on...right now I'm still trying to cling to that sense of peacefullness I had on Wednesday before I have to admit I'm back in the real world again.

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